I have to say that going from no kids to one was a breeze. When Moochy was a newborn I could sleep whenever he did. I never really felt sleep deprived, and I actually had a lot of energy. But this one-to-two thing is really tough so far. I had my first real break down today. I forgot how emotions rage in the first couple weeks after having a baby, and today it just hit me.
Moochy has never really been good at getting to sleep on his own--and I know this is mostly due to our parenting style. Since Little Brother came home he has REALLY been fighting naptime & bedtime. We've been lucky if we get him to sleep before 10 p.m. We've been trying to stick to our routine, but that has been difficult because I'm usually the one who gets his bath, book, & lays by him when it's time for bed. That's hasn't really worked out, though, b/c Toh-Toh wants to nurse at least every two hours, and he always seems to be fussy when it's time for Mooch Man to go to sleep. Another thing is that Mooch has never really wanted me to comfort him when he's upset. He always wants Allen.
So, today Mooch woke up 45 minutes into his nap, and he was MAD. He didn't want anything to do with me. I wanted him to go back to sleep, but I just gave up. Luckily, Toh was ok at the time, but the emotions came streaming in for me. Then I looked around and saw how messy my house was and thought Some homemaker I am. So, there I am bawling and Moochy is crying and throwing a tantrum; and all I can think about was how Allen has to work for 9 days straight next week and How in the world am I going to handle everything?
After crying for 10 minutes, I prayed and told Heavenly Father that all I needed was for Moochismo to give me a hug. (He usually just laughs at me when I cry, which makes everything worse). Immediately after saying my prayer, Moochy came and gave me a hug and climbed up onto my lap. That was enough to pull me out of my rut, and we picked up the living room together. I know that things will get better and that we just need to find a good routine that includes Little Brother. I know it will take Mooch Man a while to get used to having Toh around, and I just need to remember that and try to be understanding. In the meantime, I will probably have to be more lenient when it comes to bedtime & naptime--at least until things calm down a little.
I really love my boys, and I'm SO greatful that Heavenly Father answers prayers--even the little ones that seem so insignificant.
6 comments:
Don't worry Angie. You are entitled to those breakdowns. This week I am averaging about one a day, and I only have one child. Sometimes you just need a good cry. I love ya...oh and by the way I know you are doing a great job:)
Two kids is so hard, isn't it????? After my #2 was born, I was like, this isn't twice as hard, this is 4x as hard!!!! But then it leveled out and I felt like I could handle it. I feel your pain--well, probably not as much pain, since I didn't give birth a week ago.
OH, Angie! I was totally there just a few months ago. It takes an extra half hour just to get out the door. It's all you can do just to do the laundry dishes and dinner on the table, don't even think about cleaning the bathroom, not gonna happen! It does get better, I promise.
I'm sorry things are rough. It is okay to have breakdown, sometimes it is what you need. I know you do a great job with those two. You sure are lucky to have two cute, wonderful boys. I love that picture of them on the couch, send me one please. Don't worry, things will work out and a routine will come eventually. I love you.
You just put tears in my eyes. You are doing a wonderful job just to think I will be in the same situation in 11 weeks but things will get better. Your boys are adorable and so precious.
luv ya
Oh Angie I love this post! Thanks for keeping us up to date and sharing your vulnerable feelings... I guess we all have to go through it and I totally appreciate hearing from you.
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