Torrin Quotes

I packed away my quote book a while ago, so I wanted to write these down before I forget them.

Allen has had a lot of 'fun' experiences with Torrin in a rest stop outside of Baker City, Oregon.  It has become our favorite rest stop. (It's the same one we waited at when Steph, Jay, and I got in a car accident back in our college days.  I remember drying my socks on the hand dryers in the bathroom there).

Once Allen took Torrin in and as he was sitting on the toilet, he said (in his not-so-quiet Torrin voice), "Hey! That guy's going #2 like me!  I know because his feet are pointing the same way as mine." (Chuckles from the other men in the bathroom.  It was really crowded that day.)

Another time at the same rest stop, Torrin tooted really loud and he exclaimed, "That was me!  That was me, Dad! That was me."  On the same day, some men came into the bathroom speaking Spanish.  Torrin said, "Dad, those guys are speaking something like Spanish.  They must be Mexicans!"

Not a funny one, but kind of sweet (for me, not for Darci)--Darci said to Torrin, "I love you," and Torrin replied, "I love my mom."  I'm sure he'll like that one when he's older.  ;)

My sweet 5-year-old.

Torrin is such a sweet and sensitive kid.  Tonight Allen was putting the boys to bed.  He was laying on the futon in their room, and he looked over and saw tears streaming down Torrin's cheeks.  Allen asked what was wrong and Torrin's reply was, "I don't want to leave Mom."  Allen asked him to elaborate and Torrin said, "I don't want to leave Mom when I go on my mission."  Allen reassured him that he wouldn't have to worry about that for a long time.  Bless his sweet little heart.  I love that boy! (And yes, it totally brought tears to my eyes when Allen told me.)

Torrin on his 5th birthday.

First grader!

Hayden started first grade on September 4.  He is in a 1st/2nd split class this year.  There are 52 students in his class!  14 first graders, and the rest 2nd graders.  His teachers are Mrs. Wilkinson and Mrs. Hancock.  So far Hayden is doing really well.  We haven't had quite as many struggles with homework this year (YET!), but maybe that's because it's more his level.  He doesn't have a problem doing the 2nd grade curriculum.  I just worry about next year.  He will be in 2nd grade and learning the same stuff all over again.  I'm not sure how that's going to work.

I didn't cry on the first day of Kindergarten, but I did on the first day of 1st grade.  I guess because he is gone ALL day now.  It's been an adjustment and we have a very tired boy at the end of the day (and especially at the end of the week).

I just wanted to add--Hayden also turned 7 last month.  I can't believe he'll be getting baptized next year!

Cassidy's Blessing

We blessed Cassidy in church on September 2, 2012, and it's a good thing too.  If we had waited until next month she wouldn't have fit into her blessing dress.  We were happy to have lots of family with us.  My parents were here visiting, along with Allen's parents, brother Shawn, and his sister Kari and her family (Ryan, Cameron, Connor, & Callen).  Allen's brothers, Robert & Curtis, and their wives (Courtney and Courtney) and our nephews, Carter & Owen were also able to come for the blessing.  She looked so sweet in her blessing dress and she didn't make a peep during the blessing.

After sacrament meeting, Torrin gave his first talk in Primary.  He had a big audience there watching him.

You can tell how sleep deprived I am!
We didn't get a family picture like we wanted, but that's ok.

I give props to any photographers out there.
It is really difficult to get good shots of an awake newborn!

Welcome, Cassidy Diane!

Allen and I went in Monday morning at 9:45 a.m. 8/27/12 to see my midwife, Gretchen.  I was 38 week, 5 days.  The plan was to have her strip my membranes and then for us to walk around for a while to see if labor started.  When she checked me, I was already “about 5cm” but still “kind of thick.”   She didn’t want to send me home at 5cm because we live 45 minutes from the hospital, and she knew I’d go fast once my water broke and might not make it back to the hospital.  She asked us to walk around for a while and then check in to labor & delivery.  We walked around Temple Square for about an hour.  I was getting some contractions.  They were about 10 minutes apart, but not consistent.  Allen confessed that he didn’t actually believe we’d be having a baby that day, so he didn’t come prepared (with his netbook and some food. LOL).

I was nervous about checking myself in to L&D because I knew my options were 1) Pitocin to get contractions started (I am not comfortable with this route since I’ve had a previous c-section), 2) break my water IF baby had dropped low enough (she was still a bit high before and none of us felt comfortable enough breaking my water at that point), or 3) wait around in L&D until things got started on their own, which could have been hours.  We got there close to noon and I expressed my concerns to Gretchen and the nursing staff.  We decided to wait and see if my body would take over.  We walked around the unit for a bit, and then went back to my room.  Lying in bed did nothing except stall the contractions; but I did feel some (about 9 minutes apart) while I was standing, so I asked for the birth ball and sat on that for a while.  Allen watched NCIS and football while I surfed the web and got on facebook.  LOL  I couldn’t focus on anything else, so this passed the time.

The contractions started coming consistently 6 minutes apart and they were getting stronger, but not bad enough that I had to breathe through them.  I was comfortable enough at that point to know I was in active labor and decided to stay.  My midwife checked me at 4:18 p.m. and I had made progress.  My cervix had thinned out to 80-90% and baby’s head was low.  I was only at 5+cm, though.  At that point, Gretchen broke my water, and I knew baby would be here in a couple of hours. 

Contractions really picked up then.  They were much stronger, though still not very close together.  I labored for about an hour, while Allen made some phone calls.  I was feeling a lot more pressure with the contractions, so I knew baby was coming down.  Gretchen checked me and I was at 8cm, so she started getting her cart ready.  Allen did put his phone away long enough to help me through transition, which is really all I needed from him.  It didn’t bother me before that he was watching TV and making phone calls, though I think I did have to tell him that it was time to put the phone away and get into position once I had to breathe and vocalize through contractions.  (Might have been a bit awkward for anyone he was talking to who could hear me moaning in the background).  He held my hand through the really bad ones.  

Once I felt pushy, Gretchen checked me and I had a tiny lip left.  One more contraction and I was ready.  I was determined to get her out quickly.  I pushed for only 20 minutes with Grayson, and that was really tiring. (I know 20 minutes doesn't even compare with the 3 hours I pushed with Hayden, but it makes a big difference when you don't have an epidural.)  I only had to push through two contractions and Cassidy Diane was born, weighing 7 lbs 2 oz and 20 inches long.  She has golden blonde hair (and very little of it) and she is just the sweetest little thing.  When they placed her on my chest after she was born, I felt something warm and wet dripping down my side.  She peed on me!  Gretchen and the nurse said she was “such a pretty baby.”  I did have a small tear, but I’m not nearly as sore as I was with Grayson and Torrin.  Most of my post-partum pain is in my tail bone, which I hurt a few years ago falling down the stairs. 

We are home now, and Cassidy is doing great! She is nursing like a champ and sleeping great.  She had a tough time sleeping in the hospital, but now that my milk has come in she is letting mom sleep more.  J  We are just thrilled to have her and can’t believe we now have FOUR kids.  We’re definitely outnumbered around here.

38 weeks

Hanging out on the birthing ball.

First bath.

Grayson's reaction.  He opened his mouth in shock when he first saw Cassidy.

Gretchen and Cassidy

We took our traditional dad & baby picture at home since Allen wasn't feeling well when she was born.  (Was worried he might have had strep throat).

Guess what.

This is going to come as a shock to my faithful blog followers (all three of you).  I'm human.  Gasp!  I know, I know.  It's hard to take in, but let's call this confession time.  I am NOT super mom!  IF they remember this summer at all, my boys will remember it as the one they spent in the sprinklers and in front of a screen.  We didn't do swimming lessons, we only went to the park three times, and we rarely left the house.  I didn't even sign my boys up for soccer this fall.  I let them watch WAY too much TV and play WAY too many video games.  My 2-hour rule was thrown out the window back in June.  My house is a mess most of the time.  I get by doing what's absolutely necessary.  I haven't really exercised for months, and most days I live in scrub tops, Allen's shirts, and yoga pants with hair dye stains on them.  I probably do my hair and makeup once a week--Sundays--IF then.  I've been a total hermit, and it will probably stay that way for another two months until I get the hang of having a newborn again and get my rear end to the gym.

It's always amazed me the difference exercise makes.  When I'm not exercising and taking care of myself, I have very little energy to take care of the other things in my life.  At least I can see this and admit it, and I know I won't continue to be a hermit forever.  I'm not sure my boys care or even know what they are missing.  I think they are just happy to be here (Oh! To be a child again!).  They don't seem to care when I'm being lazy and the bathroom isn't cleaned, or there's a pile of unfolded laundry on the living room floor that I've been avoiding for too long.  I know what they are missing out on, though.  I know how things *could* be.  But in the end, will one lazy summer really make a difference in their lives?

I love floral prints.

 I made this crib skirt for the baby last night.  It took me about 4 hours.  I love the finished product.  I just wish I had a white crib.

I still need to make a valance and a crib sheet.  I originally wasn't going to do much of anything with the nursery, especially since we were hoping to be moved by now.  But I'm really hating those yellow walls and want to paint them an aqua color.  I'm not sure I have it in me, though, especially since we don't know how long we'll be here.

So, I'm 35 1/2 weeks pregnant now.  Last night after finishing up the crib skirt I kept getting contractions, but they were mostly in my lower back.  Weird.  They were 3 minutes apart for over an hour, but once I was able to get some sleep they went away.

This boy is 18 months old now.  Seriously.  Where did the time go????

Grayson is such a little 'helper'.  He loves to help mess up the house.  I can't really pause do do much of anything without him getting into something or climbing on something.  His new favorite thing is taking a drink and then letting it dribble out of his mouth onto the floor.  Not so nice when I step on a puddle of milk in the middle of the living room.  I think I need to be better at picking up after everyone right away.  No more leaving boxes of cereal or glasses of water on the counter for him to dump out.  He loves to get up there and play with cups of water, milk, juice, or whatever.  First, he'll dunk his hand in there.  Then he'll plop whatever else he can find into the cup of liquid.  He really is a sponge when it comes to learning.  He can count to 10--he usually skips 7, though.  Every day he is saying new words.  He repeats what we say, just like a little puppet, and he's starting to speak in sentences.  Not long sentences, but things like "I want apple."  I love this kid.  He sure keeps me on my toes.

Projects for baby

One fun thing about having a girl is that I've found I actually WANT to sew again.  I've done Halloween costumes for the boys in the past, but it's just not as rewarding as sewing a cute little dress.  Here are the first two projects I did for baby.


This quilt/blanket has a soft minky dot backing.  For those who haven't sewn with minky before, it is a PAIN to work with.  It's recommended to use a walking foot on your machine, but I don't have one, so I ended up cutting off a ton of minky in the end.  I'm still happy with the way it turned out, though, even if one corner is a little curly.

I decided that rather than spending $40+ on a blessing dress, I would make one.  I contemplated learning to crochet because I REALLY wanted one like this.  http://www.etsy.com/listing/76958739/the-ella-crochet-baby-dress-christening? (Beautiful, isn't it!?)  But I just don't have the budget to be spending $100+ on a dress that baby will wear once, and I don't have the patience to learn to crochet.  I'm sure it would have been one of those why-did-I-even-start-this-project moments (like when I tried to sand and re-stain my old crib and changing table--BIG mistake).  Anyway, eyelet is the next best thing, in my opinion.  I found this adorable white eyelet fabric on ebay for $12, and I used this tutorial to make a dress.  http://www.sew-much-ado.com/2012/01/infant-peasant-dress-free-pattern-and.html  I lengthened it a little since the blogger said it's meant to hit right below the knee and I wanted it longer.  Here is the finished product.  Again, I'm really happy with it and had a lot of fun making the dress.  The pattern was so simple and easy too!

I know the lighting is terrible.  Sorry!

My next project for baby is a crib skirt.  I haven't decided if I'm going to make a bumper for the crib.  I might get to that project if I'm feeling ambitious or get the nesting bug.  This is the fabric I'm going to use--Garden Rocket in Turquoise.  I am in love with floral prints right now.  I'm going to use a coral pink print as an accent color.  I'm in the process of ordering swatches of different prints now, and then I'll make the final decisions.  I really like aqua with pink right now, but I just don't want to overdo it with the pink.

I'm also thinking about sewing another dress with that same peasant pattern.  I got a turquoise eyelet fabric, but it's kind of stiff and scratchy, so I may save it for something less delicate than my baby's skin.

I can't wait.

I can't wait to have a small 3 bedroom, 2 bathroom, 1500-1700 sq ft home.  Cleaning this place is going to put me into labor.  Too many bathrooms, too much empty floor space to spread out the mess.

3rd Trimester!

I will be 29 weeks pregnant on Tuesday.  It's nice to be in the final stretch to meet this baby.  Hopefully she comes at 38 weeks like her brother does.  I don't think I'll know what to do if she decides to go the full 40 weeks.  I'm already impatient enough as it is.  lol  The weirdest thing, all the sudden my nausea has come back.  Granted, it's not as bad as it was in my first trimester, but I don't remember this happening with my boys.  I guess it's the only thing that seems to be different between this 'girl' pregnancy vs. my 'boy' pregnancies.  It's strange to be gagging again every time I brush my teeth.

I had my glucose screening last week to test for Gestational Diabetes.  I failed the 1-hour screening by 30 points, so I have to go take the 3-hour test tomorrow.  Ugh.  They make you drink this highly concentrated glucose drink (tastes like really bad gatorade), which I chug down to make it more tolerable, then they draw your blood every hour for 3 hours.  I'm not looking forward to spending 3 hours in the lab, but at least I'll have my Kindle this time.  We didn't have these kind of gadgets when I was pregnant with Hayden and had to do the 3-hour test.  To be honest, I have been terrible and eating a TON of sugar and carbs with this pregnancy.  I think I have otter pop juice running through my veins.  Even if I pass the 3-hour test, I am definitely making some changes to my diet right now.  I know it's not healthy to eat like I have been, and while I'm doing much better than I did when I was pregnant with Hayden, there is always room for improvement.  I'm worried that IF I have GD my midwife won't be able to see me anymore because I'll be considered "high risk" and I'll have to transfer to an OB.

I also have low iron, so have to start taking an iron supplement.  I'm not surprised about that one, though.  I have had to take iron with a couple of my pregnancies, and I don't think the gummy vitamins I've been taking (instead of prenatal vitamins) have iron in them.

Sweet Parenting Moment

Hayden decided to bring his scriptures to church today.  During sacrament meeting I watched him read the first two chapters in the Book of Mormon.  This was all his idea and all on his own without any prompting on our part.  I don't know how much he got out of what he read, but it just touched my heart to see him make a decision like that all on his own. 

Thoughtful boy.

Hayden did the sweetest thing this morning. We were up in my room playing for a little bit (and being lazy).  He went downstairs and came back up with a bowl of cereal for me.  Then he went down and got a gogurt and a glass of water and brought them to me also.  Breakfast in bed!  Then he went down and got Torrin a bowl of cereal and made himself a sandwich.  Sometimes he can be so thoughtful and sweet.   It makes me want to cry that he is growing up so fast!

Boys

(I wonder how many of my posts have this title).

Sometimes I look at my sweet little Grayson and think how sad it is that I will never have another little boy.  I sure do adore my boys.  I am excited about having a daughter, but I worry about being able to 'connect' with her.  I am emotional and moody enough as it is.  Will we just butt heads?  I know she will be a daddy's girl.  I already have 3 daddy's boys, so I don't expect anything different.  I guess it's just the fear of the unknown.

Scriptures

Last week we got The Book of Mormon out to read one night for our family scripture reading, and Hayden immediately repeated, "And it came to pass, and it came to pass, and it came to pass."  lol  For those who haven't read The Book of Mormon, this is a very common phrase in it.

Look what I bought for the baby!

Aren't they adorable!?

Yep, we're going to need a lot more pink around here.  Can you believe intuition can be wrong?  And boy was I wrong!  I guess I've been right 75% of the time, but when you figure you have a 50% chance of guessing the gender correctly, 75% isn't all that great.  ;)  I was certain we were having all boys, but we are excited for the challenge, fun, shopping, etc. of a daughter.

Ketchup

Someone has discovered the joy of dipping in ketchup.  And he didn't even make a big mess.  (He also really likes to point at things).

Tradition

Perhaps someone can enlighten me on this tradition.  Maybe I'm not thinking clearly, and I'm sure I must not be seeing all view points.  But when/why has it become improper to throw a baby shower for someone who is having their 2nd boy or 3rd girl, or whatever?  Why do we only throw baby showers for the first boy or the first girl?  I don't really understand this tradition.  I promise I'm not bringing this up just because I feel sorry for myself for not having a baby shower every time.  It just seems like all babies should be celebrated.  I mean, we don't avoid throwing birthday parties for our 2nd son or 3rd daughter just because they weren't first, right?  So why are baby showers any different?

I know this seems like another whiny vent post, but I woke up at 2:30 a.m. thinking about it, and I couldn't go back to sleep.  Hello, pregnancy insomnia.  LOL  I'm really curious as to why it is so taboo.  I'm sure it's partly on my mind because I'm missing my cousin's baby shower today.  :(  (You miss out on a lot of stuff when you have a husband who works evenings and weekends and no budget for a babysitter).

16 weeks.

If only this "bump" were all baby.  (Sorry, you get no face/head because I don't feel so beautiful these days. LOL).

I have my appetite & energy back and I have stopped dry heaving all the time (except when I have to clean up cat puke--but who wouldn't gag when they have to do that?!)  I have an appointment with Gretchen tomorrow.  Hopefully, we'll get to take a peek at the baby on an ultrasound and maybe find out the gender.

Just look for the boy wearing stripes.

Wait.  Or will everyone else be wearing stripes too?  Kohl's was having a big sale online last week. (Though, I think they're one of those stores, like Children's Place, that is ALWAYS having a sale.  Basically, they mark up their "original" prices so that people think they are getting a huge deal on stuff.)  Anyway, I have decided that when it comes to shopping for clothes it's best to plan ahead.  My new plan is to buy the boys' clothes, coats, shoes, etc at the END of the season (or during the off-season) when everything is on sale.  So instead of waiting until August to buy all of Hayden's school clothes for next year, I bought them now.  I also got some really nice down jackets for the boys for next winter (hopefully the next two), and because it's almost spring, they were 50% off.  Why didn't I think of this sooner!?

Here are the shirts I got for Hayden.  I guess stripes are the big thing right now because it was either stripes or some sort of sports theme.  Apparently, I am drawn to stripes over the sports logos.  And it's a good thing my boys don't care about what they are wearing...yet.  It just means I get to do all the shopping for them without having to drag them along.  It also means I can lay out Hayden's school clothes the night before, and there won't be a fuss or fight about him not wanting to wear that.  Maybe that's one of the easy things about having boys.

It's in the air.

It's been warmer lately and we are so excited for spring.  The boys have been outside riding their bikes more and they'd rather do that than anything else most days.

Torrin started soccer Tuesday.  It's his first season and we are looking forward to it.  He is one of the smallest/youngest on his team.  So, even though he is pretty quick for his age, he may spend a lot of time trailing along behind the other kids, and that's fine!  It was the same thing with Hayden for his first season.  They group the kids in pre-K/K (in Kindergarten and going into Kindergarten), and then they do 1st/2nd, 3rd/4th, etc.  It's through parks & rec, so I'm sure it's different than AYSO.

One of the kids on Torrin's team is in Hayden's class at school, so I probably could have signed both boys up for the same team, but Hayden decided he wanted to do swimming this spring instead.  He'll start that at the end of the month, so it'll be M/W-swimming, T/Th-Soccer.    I'm starting to see how moms with older kids do so much running around.  Add Cub Scouts at age 8, and music lessons or whatever, and I may never be home once my kids are all school-age.

Last spring I spent a lot of time studying about how to make our lawn thick and green, and how to prune and take care of roses & grapes (we have a ton of them).  I also spent WAY too much time trying to manually thatch the front lawn with a thatching rake (Talk about back breaking work!).  Having limited resources, a baby, and a very busy husband meant I didn't get to spend as much time as I wanted to on the yard.  We didn't get to plant a vegetable garden (probably a good thing because there was just no time), but I was able to plant a few bulbs in the front yard.  I'm looking forward to having more time for yard work this spring; and there is  a LOT of work to do.

I found this in Hayden's backpack.

It's from his friend, Aly.  Seriously.  Can you get any cuter?

He said they could write notes to each other in class if they were done with their work.  He wrote the same thing back to Aly, and he said he also wrote, "Let's play dinosaurs tomorrow." (probably not spelled correctly) to his friend Kyson.  There is probably a dad somewhere wondering why his daughter has a love note from my son.  She started it!  LOL

Let's face it.

Most parts of pregnancy are not fun or glamorous.  Heart burn, bloating, constipation, morning sickness, nausea, swelling (gosh, I hope I don't swell this summer like I did with Hayden!), sciatica, etc, etc.  I am 14 weeks along and my morning sickness and dry heaving (for the most part--I still get some nausea here and there) has been replaced with the infamous 2nd trimester headaches--EVERY day.  BUT feeling that little lemon-sized baby do somersaults inside me makes everything worth it!  I tend to feel my babies early (maybe because I have a tilted uterus, or maybe because I'm just hypersensitive to movement--I can also feel myself ovulate and felt my ectopic pregnancy pretty early, when the ER doc told me it was too early to feel one).  Anyway, I felt Hayden move at 16 weeks, Torrin at about 14 weeks, and Grayson and this baby at 11 weeks.  Now that he/she is getting bigger, the fluttery movements are starting to feel more like kicks, jumps, and somersaults.  This is by far my favorite thing about pregnancy!  I've also had some of my energy return, which is awesome!  I'm still going to bed early most nights, but I have energy to do more around the house, and I even went to the gym twice this week so far.  I haven't really done any exercise since December, so it feels good to be doing something active again.

And can I just say?  I LOVE my midwife, Gretchen Faucett at Avenues Midwifery.  Every time I go in for an appointment I feel like I'm her only patient.  She talks to me like a friend and spends as much time with me as I need.  When I first switched to her at the end of Gray's pregnancy, Allen was a little skeptical about going with a midwife.  But she was amazing during the birth, and now Allen is completely converted.  LOL  She came in on her day off and spent time with me--rubbing my back and helping me get comfortable (Ha!  Well, as comfortable as one can get while in transition.)  It just makes me sad that we will probably move to another state before I have this baby.  :(  Wish I could take her with me!

Pregnant brain! I published this without adding the pictures first. Oops.

Hayden is just so photogenic.  I hope this baby has his coloring to even things out a little.  Not that I don't love my towheaded, blue-eyed boys--I just feel bad that they have to have my complexion.  

The forced smile.

It was really windy.  That's why he keeps looking toward the window.  The first video shows the smile he gives us when he's really trying.

The lovely thing about co-sleeping.

Waking up to someone smacking you in the face.  Who needs an alarm clock?  I'm going to have to figure out where to put Grayson when the baby comes because he won't sleep in his crib.

The "Perfect" Family.

**Disclaimer.  This post is not directed at any one specifically.  I think about these things all the time, especially when I'm pregnant and my emotions are out of control.**

It's a fact of life.  No matter who you are or what your family is like, people are going to make comments.  If you have 1 boy/1 girl or 2 boys/2 girls then it's, "Oh, how perfect!  So now you're done?"  If you have an only child then it's, "So when are you going to have another?"  If you have all girls or all boys then you'll hear, "You need a (insert opposite gender here)."  Or "Are you going to try for a girl/boy?"

It started for me when I was pregnant with Torrin.  I remember a complete stranger asking me (when she found out I was having my second boy) if I was going to "try" for a girl.  My thoughts were, "Did you really just write off my son that hasn't even been born yet?"  Like he doesn't "count" because we're not getting the opposite gender?  With each pregnancy it gets progressively worse.  The comments just keep coming.  It can be something as simple as immediately labeling my baby as "she" to asking if we're just "going to keep trying until (we) get a girl."  And each time the comments make me feel worse.  To the point where I feel like so many people will be disappointed if I don't have the gender THEY want me to have.  To the point where I am forced to tears.

I know people mean well.  Many are joking and most probably don't even know or understand the affect their comments have on people.  In fact, I'm pretty sure that I'm guilty of making a girl comment to my sister-in-law when I first met her.  (She has three AWESOME, respectful, kind, and well-behaved teenage boys and has done an amazing job raising them.  She's my hero!)  I guess that's the reason I'm writing this blog post--to let people know how their comments affect people, and to reiterate the point that there is no "perfect" family.  The "perfect" family is the one you're given--the one that's perfect for you.  I'm a firm believer that Heavenly Father sends us the children we need, no matter what gender they are, and the ones that need us.

Sweet, sweet boys.

We were watching AFV today as a family and my sweet Hayden was so cute.  He has this gift for being sympathetic toward someone in physical pain.  As Allen and I were cracking up over people flipping over their bikes and falling off trampolines, Hayden was straight-faced.  He loved the animal and baby ones but didn't laugh at all when people got hurt.  At one point they showed a girl hysterical that she was about to get a shot, and I looked over and Hayden had tears in his eyes.  What a sweet, sweet boy!  He has really developed a love for reading lately.  Right now he is reading "The Mouse and the Motorcycle," which he got for Christmas this year.  The other night he said to me, "Mom, I really like video games, but I'm starting to like reading even more than video games."

Torrin is also very sympathetic, but different in that he is very aware of people's feelings.  He is usually the first one to give me a hug when I'm emotional or having a rough day.  Or when I'm (fake) whining that I "never get kisses from (Grayson) anymore" he will come up and give me a hug and kiss.  Torrin is our scrappy man.  He is a tough little guy.  Today he was jumping on Hayden and wrestling him down.  Hayden was laughing as Torrin pounced him over and over again, but he's not one for wrestling.

Grayson is WIDE awake tonight and really wants to play.  (I guess that's what happens when you get a nap at 4:30 p.m.)  He keeps toddling away as fast as he can and laughing--taunting us to "come and get me."  I love my sweet boys!

A little over 2 months until Allen graduates!!!  It's going to be a busy two months, and especially stressful for Allen as he finishes up his Masters project.  I can't wait until we're DONE with school--and hopefully for a looooong time.

Warning. Negative post.

I might have been crazy for wanting 4 kids.  I'm almost 10 weeks pregnant and this pregnancy is hard.  I can't stand to go in the kitchen, which makes it difficult to feed my family and means my kitchen is always a mess.  My boys are living on cold cereal and PB&J (So where are all the dishes coming from!!?).  Allen is grilling big batches of chicken to take to work, which makes me sick to even think about.  And I am EXHAUSTED!  It probably doesn't help that I have 3 busy boys.  Grayson is the worst offender.  He is into EVERYTHING and I literally can't sit still for a minute b/c in a few seconds he's moved on to something else.  Even as I type this, I can hear him getting into the lazy susan, which holds all my baking stuff.  Yes, cocoa powder all over this morning! (My fault for not fully baby proofing.  But is it really worth it for the 3-6 months we'll be living here?).  MY.HOUSE.IS.A.DISASTER. and it's driving me crazy, but I don't have the energy to do anything about it, and I don't have a husband with the time to help more than once or twice a week.  Stupid grad school--when he's home he's not really "home" and when he's gone he's gone ALL.DAY.LONG.  Hayden and Torrin are now entertaining themselves in the bath, which means a tidal wave of mess in the bathroom, and guess who gets to clean THAT up.  Please, let me get some energy back once I get to the second trimester.

Sorry for complaining.  I don't think it'll matter anyway since I don't think anyone reads my blog.  I just needed an outlet.