I know I haven't blogged in a while, but I just wanted to get out some thoughts on a subject that has been on my mind lately. So, sorry in advance for the vent.
I am in an All-Boys Club. I have 2 sons and I love it. When I see a mom with 2, 3, or 4 boys I feel an immediate bond with that woman--even if I have never met her before. I feel like I am part of an exclusive club that I have been chosen by Heavenly Father to be a part of. And I am grateful to Him for that.
When I was pregnant with Torrin (my 2nd son), a woman asked me if we were going to try again for a girl. I know peoples' comments aren't meant to be hurtful, but they make me wonder if people think my boys aren't "enough," or like we got it wrong the first couple times. Do-over. Scratch that. Try again. I mean, Torrin wasn't even BORN yet, and already I'm supposed to skip on to the next one?
Please don't get me wrong. I would love a daughter if Heavenly Father chose to send me one. But I would in NO way feel like my life was incomplete without one. I see me in that mom with 4 boys, and I wouldn't be surprised if I was chosen to be an all-boy mama for good. So, when someone tells me that I "need" a girl, or asks if we're going to "try" for a girl, I can't help but feel sad. The world's definition of the "ideal" family seems to be mom, dad, boy, girl. And while I have no idea what is in store for our little family (more boys, girls, or even any more kids for that matter), I feel like whatever we are blessed with will be "complete"--whether that means 2 boys, or 4 boys, or even 2 boys and a girl.
I know many of you moms with all girls feel the same way about your girls. That's the way it should be, and I admire you for that. Be proud of your All-Girls Club. And for the moms/dads with both genders, you are blessed as well. I think most people just assume that because you have all boys/girls you would be disappointed with another of the same gender. That's not always the case. So please, when you see the mom with 4 boys in the supermarket, don't feel sorry for her. She loves her boys and would do anything for them. And when you see a mom with her 3 little girls, know that they will grow to be her best friends.
Sunday, July 5, 2009
The All-Boys Club
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12 comments:
oh my goodness! thanks so much for writing all of my thoughts down! just teasin we're in the all girl club and I LOVE IT! I feel the same exact way you do about having all boys. in no way do I feel incomplete by not having a boy. I love just having girls and I "secretly" (because shaun still wants a boy!) would be perfectly fine only having little girls running around our house!!!
Good pointe of view! Never thought of it from that perspective. I think society is condition to think your family is incomplete if you don't have a boy and a girl. But honestly, I think almost everyone is happy with what the Lord has given us. Sometimes we "the people" say things unknowing how it may affect the person were saying it too. You have 2 wonderful boys and if you have 4 more boys just think of all the fun you'll have camping, fishing, biking etc! Your awesome Angie!!
Amen! I got that too when it was just the two boys at the time.
You are SO lucky to have 2 beautiful boys! Thanks for sharing your thoughts. You are such a great mom and I really admire you!
Loved your thoughts...since I will have 3 girls..people will ask me are you having a boy? When I say no they say..."Oh I am so sorry!" I then have to tell them that we wanted 3 girls, we are just happy with what God chooses. I get comments all the time about trying again for a boy, it drives me crazy!
Sarah, I think when I'm pregnant with our 3rd boy I'm going to wear a shirt around that says, "Yes, it's our 3rd boy, and we're HAPPY about it." Or something like that. LOL
I'm not a mom, but part of an all girls club and I LOVE it. Having/being part of an all-gender family is definitely an experience, and one I wouldn't change!
i agree, angie. i always get comments like you, and i feel the exact same-- love my boys and wouldn't change anything! well said.
You know, another thing...I have a Girl and a boy and what bothered me is when I was pregnant with Bryce people kept saying, "So your done now right? Now that you have both?" sigh!
I'm slightly biased... but Your All Boys Club is the cutest ever!
I dont think the life of a parent should be set upon the gender of their children. All kids are a blessing, no matter what. I nannied for a family with 4 girls & they kept trying till they got a boy... they ended up with 2 sets of twin girls, 2 other girls, and one boy. uh... crazy much?!
Amen, sista!
Well said, I know EXACTLY how you feel. People almost seem sad for me that I have 3 boys. I always tell them that I'm so grateful that I can't 'order' the gender of my children. I really wouldn't know what I want. I just know that I want what I get and I'm grateful Heavenly Father knows best what I need. Once you find out that it's a boy/girl coming you get the feeling that it's right and meant to be just exactly that way. Really liked your post, you're a good girl!
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